 |
Anger: The Unexpected Emotion After Gastric Bypass Surgery
The words I read made me furious. There it was, in black and white, the story of a fussy baby who was spoon fed ice cream to keep her quiet. I was reading a baby book and that baby was me! I was indignant - how dare my parents comfort me - at six months old - with ice cream? No wonder I grew up to be a fat adult addicted to high fat sugary sweets. I was a fat baby and I became a fat child, a fat teen and a fat adult. All because at six months the solution for my tears was ice cream. When I read dusky smelling baby book it unleashed an anger that had been building since the good doctor cut up my God-given stomach and deprived me of every comfort I'd ever known. My gastric bypass made me skinny, but it also made me angry. I was mad as hell, and I was blaming them - my parents - for twenty-five years of obesity. Twenty-five years of suffering and self-loathing. Twenty-five years of social inferiority because I was fat. It was their fault! A normally docile person,
I was livid. I was enraged. I was heartbroken. There is so much pain associated with obesity, particularly for children and adolescents, how dare they - they who gave me life - put me in harm's way by making me fat? How dare they? I harbored my anger for weeks festering it in my mind until it took on a life of it's own. I was no longer in control of my thoughts because I had surrendered to the anger. Here I should have been at the most exciting moment of my adult life for I had become the new me, yet I was a bitter angry unhappy thin person. Most gastric bypass patients experience anger as they lose weight. I understand now that this phase of anger is common for the recovering morbidly obese person. Most of our anger is about how obesity caused us to be self-loathing: about learning to hate ourselves - since childhood - because of our obesity. We are angry for blaming ourselves for lack of control that caused obesity, we are angry at others who blamed us. We are angry at the people who have belittled us for being fat, then belittled us as "weak" for taking the easy way out - surgery - to lose weight. We are angry at doctors who've told us to lose weight, but didn't tell us how. We are angry at the media that bombards us with pictures of rail thin skeleton models sending the message that unhealthy anorexic behavior is fashionable and obesity is loathsome. That is the same media that advertises thin people joyously eating heaping portions of unhealthy processed fat laden food. We are angry at employers who fail to promote the obese and who make us work twice as hard to prove that obese does not equal stupid. We are angry at the diet industry that has taken billions of our dollars when we fell for their promise of "instant weight loss guaranteed". We are angry at every person who said, "You have such a pretty face, if you could just lose the weight." We are angry at a society that deems it politically incorrect to insult people for their race, religion or sexual preference, but leaves the field wide open to defame and humiliate the obese. The recovering obese are very angry. And finally, after years of stuffing angry feelings inside, the anger erupts when we lose weight and discover our new selves. And that makes us angry too! Why did we have to lose weight in order to allow ourselves to be angry? We are entitled to be angry. As a class of people we are subject to the most tolerated form of socially accepted bigotry: it is in our home and social lives, in the workplace, in our leisure activities. We live in a society where half the people are obese - half of those morbidly obese - yet that same society condemns the obese as today's untouchables. We are entitled to be angry. Anger leads us down a path of blaming. We want to blame someone or something for our suffering. It's true, not one single fat person has chosen to be fat. Obesity is not a choice. We want to blame someone else because for most of our lives we have blamed ourselves: that's what fat people learn to do - we hate ourselves for a choice we did not make. But a new movement in psychology, the science of happiness, says there is a better way. This practice says, sure, bad things happen to good people. The science of happiness calls people to muster their inner resilience and accept bad things happen as a matter of fact and then move forward. The science of happiness has us focus on our strengths. According to Dr. Dan Baker, a leader in the science of happiness and author of What Happy People Know: How the New Science of Happiness Can Change Your Life for the Better: "focusing on our strengths works because it feels better than focusing on weakness. It creates energy, which is always necessary for transformation. Also, it's self-sustaining and full of rewards."
When I began to understand that my obesity was the result of converging anthropic change - the industrial revolution - that my parents did not intend for me be fat, and that I'd done the best thing I could for my health by having surgery - then my anger subsided. Some weight loss patients have managed their anger by becoming advocates. Advocates for the fair treatment of the obese, for fair treatment in the workplace and improved insurance coverage for obesity treatment. I know some people who are sport and life coaches for children to teach them about nutrition and physical activity. But most importantly, I know WLS patients who are advocates in their own homes. They are affecting healthy change for the next generation. These brave people are teaching their children to eat nutritionally and exercise and avoid the foods and habits that result in obesity. They are the advocates who will keep the next generation off the surgical table and free from the torments of growing up obese. Advocates do not have time for anger. They will step in where genetics can't keep pace and independently, one-by-one, fight the epidemic of obesity. Is it easy to let the anger go? Not all the time. I still get very angry when I see overweight adults mindlessly feeding their children things that will make them fat. Sometimes I just want to shake them and say, "Do you know what you are doing to that child? Do you know what kind of life you are leading her toward?" I'm still looking for a response to this anger but the wounds of childhood obesity do not easily heal. Maybe that's a good thing. Maybe that will be the motivation it takes to leave a better, healthier legacy for future generations - with or without weight loss surgery. Kaye Bailey is a gastric bypass success story having maintained her health and goal weight for more than five years. An award winning journalist, she is the author and webmaster of http://www.livingafterwls.com and http://www.livingafterwls.blogspot.com - Fresh & insightful content about living after weight loss surgery is added daily, check in often.
MORE RESOURCES:
|
Weight Loss: Rick Warren's New PurposeHuffington PostBy Lilly Fowler LAKE FOREST, Calif. (RNS) Megachurch pastor Rick Warren has become an outsized evangelical superstar: best-selling author of "The Purpose Driven Life" series, pastoral mentor and even political referee. Now Warren is finding a new ...and more » |
|
First of it's kind weight loss treatment offered in JaxWJXT JacksonvilleThere's a new spa in town offering two weight loss treatments that have never been available in Jacksonville before. The "Steamy Wonder" steam canopy is part of the brand new "Salt Spa" in Jacksonville Beach. The steam canopy is said to burn as many as ...and more » |
|
5 weight loss boosters, recipes includedWMBFMYRTLE BEACH, SC (WMBF) We've all said it before, "A New Year means a new me," but the reality is as the days turn into weeks and months, our intensity and optimism begin to wane. So WMBF News went to the experts to find out where you might be going ... |
Hindustan Times |
Cutting down calories key to weight loss?Hindustan TimesThe study, led by Otago University endocrinologist Jeremy Krebs, looked at whether 419 participants (aged 35-75 years) had different rates of weight loss over two years when they were given two low fat diets; one involving high protein intake and the ... |
Google News
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Fake Weight Loss Claims: Identify Them
Its crowded..
Myth: Gastric Bypass Patients Can Never Be Nutritionally Healthy
A common claim from gastric bypass detractors is that after surgery patients can never be nutritionally healthy and they must take daily vitamin supplements just to survive.It is a mistaken notion that weight loss surgery patients cannot lead a nutritionally sound life.
Dieting While Partying!
It's really difficult for a person to socialise if he is on a Diet. Totally ignoring parties and invitation is definitely not a solution.
Weightless Workout - Strength Training Without Equipment
Resistance training, also known as strength training, does not require a gym membership. It does not even require an expensive home gym.
Seven Pitfalls That Cripple Weight Loss
Do you struggle to maintain or lose weight? If so, you are certainly not alone. Obesity is on the rise and becoming an epidemic in our society.
Do Low Carbohydrate Diets Lead to Weight Loss Success?
So your neighbor, office mate, best friend, whoever just lost 10 pounds in only two weeks following the latest in high protein low carbohydrate diets. And now you're thinking you should give it a go -- have even started the search for high protein low carbohydrate recipes?True, high protein low carb diets seem to be leading many people to weight loss success.
How I Lost 51 Pounds In 4 Months Using The Simplest Diet Plan In The World
Like many people I've been on dozens of diet plans over the years ranging from Atkins to South Beach to Weightwatchers to Jenny Craig and lots more besides. In fact, I've eaten enough cabbage soup to satisfy a small country! I'm 5 feet 10 and I used to weigh 230 pounds and needed to lose a good 50 pounds to get myself in some short of shape.
The Truth About Weight Loss: The 6 Biggest Myths About Dieting!
All of our behavior results from the thoughts that preceded it, so the thing to work on is not your behavior, but the thing that caused your behavior, your thoughts.
- Dr.
3 Easy Dieting Success Tips
1. Drink 8-10 glasses of water each dayOkay, for many people this is a big problem.
Finally, Natural Weight Loss Availalble, Judge Lifts Ban on Ephedra
April 14, 2005 federal judge Tena Campbell of the federal district court in Salt Lake City Utah reversed the ban on ephedra.Ephedra is an herb used over 5000 years ago to treat several disorders, such as asthma and bronchitis.
Abdominal Liposuction - When Diets Dont Work
Abdominal liposuction refers to liposuction, or lipoplasty, that is performed on the torso area. Most candidates for this procedure have attempted a diet and exercise routine but are unable to achieve their goal of a flatter stomach.
Lasting Weight Loss: No Discipline Required
"I'd love to lose weight, but I don't have the discipline."If I had to lose weight the way the diet mongers say we need to, I'd never lose an ounce.
The Key To Successful Weight Loss - Balancing Blood Sugar Levels
When you talk about losing weight you're really talking about losing fat. Successful weight loss is not just about losing that excess fat, it's about keeping it off.
High Carbs/Low Fat Diets and Cardio Vascular Disease
For the past 20 years, the American public has been bombarded with the
message: "Fat is bad!" As a result, our food supply is now inundated with "low
fat" foods, engineered foods and foods processed to remove natural fats. In
every instance, low fat foods are loaded with carbohydrates.
The Simplest Diet Plan Ever - 3 Easy Steps to Healthy Living
You've heard the popular advice on weight loss diets. Cut the
fat! Cut the carbs! Cut the calories! Eat a balanced diet! But
how can you cut though all of the confusion, and eat a diet
that's balanced and healthy?Here's the advice from nutritional science:Cut the JUNK fats: Most people do not need an ultra low fat
diet.
Winning at Post-Partum Weight Loss: Six Simple Strategies for New Moms - Part 3
A healthy pregnancy almost always involves weight gain. But now that
baby's here, you're probably wishing those extra pounds would hurry up
and disappear! While it won't happen overnight, these six simple tips
can help you lose that extra weight in a healthy way.
Lose 104 Pounds In A Year
Did you ever think about the fact that losing 2 pounds a week adds up to 104 pounds a year? That's a LOT of weight.Sooo.
Making Diets Work -- How to Finally Lose Weight and Keep it Off
Name a diet..
7 Part Plan To Beating Childhood Obesity
Everyone from politicians to parents is talking about fighting the war against childhood flab. It is odd that in a relatively wealthy countries such as the US and Australia improving children's health, weight and fitness should be a problem but it appears to be a sticking point with many.
Know How Many Calories To Cut For Permanent Weight Loss
It is not recommended to lose more than 1 pound per week for healthily weight loss. The reason for this has do to with the issues which quick and drastic weight loss can have on your body's metabolism and muscle mass.
|
